Today is my daddy’s birthday. He would have been 70 years
old.
In the last year as I saw Daddy getting weaker and weaker, I
would beg God to let him live to be 70 and to reach his 50th wedding
anniversary (coming this July). I would think, “He is so close. Can’t You let
him make it to those milestones?” I never told anyone I was praying these things.
It has now been almost 6 months since Daddy went to heaven.
My perspective has changed much, and now I feel silly even admitting
that I prayed those things.
Daddy was so, so tired. He was weak. He had struggled and
fought to stay with us for so long. In fact, he had been doing that for us our entire
lives…literally. Not long before he died, he told Mama that when each of us
was born (children and grandchildren) and he held us for the first time, he
would pray and ask God to protect us. Not only that, but he would tell God to put
the difficulties of life on him instead.
He loved us so much.
Daddy’s life was not easy. He endured much difficulty. He
was not perfect, but He pointed us to God through difficult situations. He was
the hardest working person I’ve ever known. We loved to make him proud. Even now,
I find myself thinking about what Daddy would say about (fill in the blank).
This week, I taught a lesson to 3rd-6th
grade girls about the resurrection using the story of Jesus raising Lazarus
from the dead (John 11). I read that with an entirely new perspective.
My heart was anxious with Mary’s and Martha’s as they
agonized over the sickness of their brother. They sent word to the One that
could heal him and was told, “This sickness is not unto death, but for the
glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby.” I’m sure
they felt some relief then…probably thinking that Jesus meant to tell them that
Lazarus would not die.
I’m sure confusion followed. Lazarus continued to get worse.
Jesus did not come right away. Lazarus died. What was happening? These sisters knew that Jesus was the Son of
God. They trusted Him, but this was not making sense.
Their home filled with people coming to comfort them in
their time of grief. (And bring lots of food, if they were like southerners.)
Then...they heard Jesus was on the way.
The Bible tells us that Martha jumped up and ran to meet
Him, leaving Mary behind at the house. Martha is a go-getter, isn’t she? I imagine
she had been preparing in her mind what she would say to Him…..”Where have you
been? What took you so long? You said he wouldn’t die!” Here is what we know she said, “Lord, if you
had been here, my brother would not have died.” She went on to say, “But I
know, that even now, whatsoever thou wilt ask of God, God will give it thee.”
Even though she was grieving and frustrated, she still believed
something could be done.
Then, Mary left the house and came to meet Jesus. She fell
at His feet to worship, but she also said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother
would not have died.”
They all went to the tomb where Lazarus was buried. Jesus had
them roll the stone away; then He called into the tomb, “Lazarus, come forth.”
Have you ever imagined what it might have been like to be
there that day? Mary and Martha standing there with Jesus. The disciples and
the crowd standing around watching...probably all silent waiting to see what
would happen next.
Lazarus came walking out of that tomb still bound in the
graveclothes. Amazing!
Up until now, I have always read that story and thought
about how happy everyone was to see Lazarus again.
Now, I think about other things.
Admit it. If you had been standing in that crowd, wouldn’t
you have been just a little bit scared?
I mean, cemeteries aren’t supposed to have people coming out of a grave….he
had been there at least 4 days.
Then I think about Lazarus. What did Lazarus think? Was he
sad that he had to come back to a sinful world?
Now, when I think about Daddy being in heaven, I think about
how amazing it must be to be in God’s presence….to finally be at rest after
working so hard….to finally be whole after being so sick. As much as I miss my
daddy, and as much as I had hoped he would make those earthly milestones, I’m
glad I can trust the timing of the One who sees the bigger picture.
Oh, how I wish I could talk to Daddy today. I loved getting
to FaceTime him and hear all about his day.
I can also honestly say, that I wouldn’t want Daddy to leave
the glories of heaven to come back here to us. That wouldn’t be fair to him. In
God’s perfect timing, we will get to be with him one day.
Until then…I know that I’m not perfect. In fact, I fail a
lot, but Daddy, I will do my best to follow your example of working hard, loving
others, and serving God.
Happy 70th Birthday! (We will be at Cracker Barrel celebrating,
because we are pretty sure that is what you would have chosen to do.)
I love you, Daddy.
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