How do I handle these weaknesses? These weights and sins that beset me?
Recognizing that they exist is the obvious first step. Once I started seeing how many I had, my next struggle was feeling overwhelmed and defeated by them. I really was miserable for a very long time. It was hard for my over-achieving, perfectionist, prideful self to realize that I had limitations. I equated all that doing to success. Somewhere along the way, all that doing became my downfall. I would sacrifice time, sleep, home responsibilities, etc. for the sake of looking like “Super Woman” on the outside. It was making me crazy! I really believed that the world might just fall apart if I did not do all of the things that I thought I needed to do, or the things that I was just sure was expected of me by others. As it turns out, I have drastically changed what I do, and the world is still turning! As a matter of fact, all those “people” that I was going to “let down” by not doing “whatever” haven’t said one word to me about anything---I don’t think anyone’s noticed – except for my family who is grateful the crazy woman that used to live here has moved on. She does try to come back sometimes, but I do my best to quickly send her packing!!
I am in the process of reading Filling the Empty Places by Beneth Peters Jones. (I actually bought this book several years ago, but I’m just now reading it.) There is so much in there that pertains to me, but this jumped out at me the other day, “Self focus guarantees discomfort.” So true! Once, I quit focusing on me, I felt so much better!
Through this period of constant misery, I would describe myself as overwhelmed, exhausted, and having too much to do. Matt would always try to encourage me by telling me to just do one thing at a time. (By the way, I am THE QUEEN of starting something then being distracted….and starting something else….and getting distracted…and doing something else….and never getting anywhere!) I work hard at trying to stay focused on the task at hand.
I have applied this “one thing at a time” concept to my spiritual life, too. As the Lord started to show me very clearly that I had a number of weights and sins to set aside, I was overwhelmed by them. I wanted to fix everything wrong and do everything right, right then. The over-achieving perfectionist strikes again! I’m going to share these over several posts…that way, I’m not overwhelmed and neither are you. J
What Am I Thinking?
I realized that many of my struggles were linked to wrong thinking. I latched on to Philippians 4:8, Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Since one of my biggest struggles was imagining what others thought of me or expected of me, I began asking myself, Do I know this to be true? Most of the time, the answer was NO. It is amazing how much anxiety and fear can be avoided by first asking that question. This practice has transformed my thinking. I do it every day, multiple times a day. I also began noticing how often scripture address the mind and thinking. Hmmmm…..I feel I’m pretty safe in assuming that God knew this would be a common human struggle, and He was kind enough to give us instruction in this area.
What else does the Bible say? Here are a few of my favorites:
Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Isaiah 26:3
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. Romans 12:2
Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus. Phil 2:5
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7
Change is overwhelming, but not impossible. When I focus on myself, it results in panic, anxiety, discouragement, fear. I must actively keep my mind stayed on Him. When I do….there is peace – even in difficult circumstances. Remember, I can do all things through Christ. That’s not just a cliché!
Until next time….
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