My Gift

“God in His love always wills what is best for us.  In His wisdom, He always knows what is best, and in His sovereignty He has the power to bring it about.”

I have looked at this quote posted near my computer in the church office for several years…most of the last eight years, in fact.  Today, it came down….along with my kids’ notes and drawings, and my Auburn stuff, and photos….

The quote is true.  It is always encouraging to be reminded of the truth in it.  It is another thing altogether to see it played out in your life in a BIG way.

God, in His love, has chosen to give me my heart’s desire.

Sixteen years ago, I received my teaching degree.  I just assumed that my next stop in life would be school teacher.  God had different plans.  I worked in banking for 8 years – 5 of those years I was a corporate trainer (so I DID teach, just not in the traditional manner).  A lot changed in those 8 years. Having 2 small children made it nearly impossible to continue working until midnight and traveling, so I began praying about what God would have me do.  After several months of praying, God opened the door for me to work a very flexible, part-time schedule as our church’s secretary.  My new schedule allowed me to be at home, with my children more often.  As our family grew, my schedule would change to accommodate.  The job, which was more like a ministry, was ideal for our family.

Fast forward to now.  Another 8 years has passed.  All 3 children attend a Christian school.  God has been faithful to provide tuition all these years.  Over the past year, our job/financial situation changed dramatically.  God is faithful.  He has provided our needs in so many miraculous and unexpected ways.  He has used faithful family and friends to encourage and strengthen us.  My relationship to God has grown stronger – being truly God-dependent has a way of doing that to you.  The latest in the long line of miraculous and unexpected provisions for us is that I have a new job/ministry!  Not just any job…I get to be a teacher…at a school – my children’s school!!  There are too many details to name, but suffice it to say that God’s hand in this couldn’t have been more clear had He written it in the stars!

Today, my stuff came down.  It will get moved to it’s new home in my classroom.  I am so excited!!  Words can’t even describe it, really.  I’m trying not to drive my family crazy when I babble on about all the things I’ve been thinking about and planning.  I have tons to do over the next couple of weeks, and I may not have a chance to post again for a while. 

I just wanted everyone to know about my HUGE answer to prayer.  Honestly, I didn’t know if I would ever get to teach.  I am so thankful for this wonderful gift from God!

“God in His love always wills what is best for us.  In His wisdom, He always knows what is best, and in His sovereignty He has the power to bring it about.”

Driving Through Fog

No, I have not dropped off the face of the earth!  These last weeks have been sooooo busy, that I have not had time to even put thoughts on paper.   The last two months of school were packed with activity – including baseball for all three children.  We ended the year with Zane graduating from 6^th grade, and Levi graduating from Kindergarten.  June brought VBS and a trip to The WILDS.  Now – now I’m trying desperately to carve out time to write. 

I’ve had tons of time to think, so hopefully I can communicate some of that thinking in a way that makes sense.

Have you ever driven in dense fog?  At night?  How does that make you feel?

I would guess most would feel like I do.  Driving through fog in the dark is scary.  You can’t see what’s ahead – or anywhere around you.  How do you know you are still on the road?  You look desperately for markers – like the outside white line or the middle yellow line to let you know that you are still in your lane.  You feel safer knowing you are in your lane, but still you hope that any other drivers out there are staying safely in their lanes.  You look for tail lights and head lights to let you know if other cars are on the road with you.

Why am I talking about driving through fog?

Because that’s about the most accurate description about how I feel about life right now.  I’ll be very honest.  The last few months have been extremely difficult for me.  Our lives have been turned upside down.  God has brought about several drastic changes in our lives that we would have never seen coming.  Some days….actually, a lot of days, I feel like I’m in a dense fog.

When I’m actually driving through fog or someplace unfamiliar, my children are constantly asking, “Do you know where we are?  Are we lost?”  My answer to them is always, “You are with me, and that’s all that matters.”  I thought about that the other day, and God seemed to audibly say, “Yes, you are with Me, and that’s all that matters.”

In this place, I have no choice but to stay close to God – desperately looking for those markers of direction and wisdom.  I have no choice but to rest in His care.

How comforting is that??  I have been overwhelmed lately with encouragement from all sorts of places – constant reminders of God’s care for me.  One recurring theme I have seen is His daily care of me.

Nearly every morning when I wake up – even before I get out of bed – the Holy Spirit reminds me that His mercies are new every morning.

In one conversation I had recently, a dear lady reminded me that God’s provision is like manna – you get what you need for that day, every day.

The Lord’s Prayer models, “Give us this day our daily bread.”

Another sweet lady told me this week, she was going to pray that God would provide what I needed for every day, without worry.

I’m so thankful that I don’t have to stockpile His mercy, love, and grace.  He provides what I need to handle each day.  He also has supplied what we needed physically each day.  We got a very unexpected gift in the mail yesterday, and I just wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time.  I even said, “In all the scenarios that I had thought up for God, this was certainly not one of them.”

This is a difficult, but sweet, sweet time.  I am God’s child, and He delights in caring for me!

On Wednesday night at church we had a wonderful message on prayer.  As we turned to look at one of the passages, my eye fell on Matthew 6:8 (not the verse we were turning to).  It says, your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.

You know what?  He does.  He knows it all.  He has a plan worked out already.  I just need to keep close to Him, looking for those markers that direct me to the next step.

I have no idea what’s coming, but He does…and that’s ALL that matters.