Where is your focus?

The answer is essential to successfully running your race.  What is the central point of your attention?  Hebrews 12 tells us where our focus should be – Looking unto Jesus…Consider Him.  If we are not focusing on Jesus, then what is the object of our attention?  It has to be something. 

Once I started really practically applying Hebrews 12 to my life, it was apparent that I was focusing on so many other things.  God used yet another passage of scripture to help me see this so clearly.  (Another exciting thing to see is how ALL of scripture works together.  You can know that as fact, but until you experience it in your own heart….I can’t really put into words, how exciting it is to me!)  The next passage was Philippians 4.  Again, there’s a lot to glean from this chapter as well, but I’ll stick to my point.  To summarize, Paul is talking to the believers about living with joyful maturity.  There are four things in this chapter that will hinder my joy in Jesus:  1.) Disruptive Relationships  2.) Anxieties/Fears  3.) Undisciplined Thinking  4.) Focus on material possessions.  They are all important, and I’ve struggled in every area, but the one that just hit me right between the eyes was “focus on material possessions”.

In verses 11-13, Paul says, “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.  I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound.  In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

Bear with me for a moment while I walk you through my thought process.  I think it’s important because I don’t think I’m the only one that is this way.  If I am, then y’all just hang in there until I’m done.  J  This was not the first time that I had heard a message on Philippians 4.  I had heard countless messages about being content.  I grew up in a wonderful family.  God met our needs time and time again in amazing ways.  We were not rich or even “well off”, but we were happy and cared for.  Because I had learned a long time ago to know how to make do with what I have, even when it’s not a lot, I usually just skipped over these verses.  Of course, I knew how to be content….I’ve been doing this all my life.  The night that I heard this message, I really asked myself,  Am I content?  Do I focus on material things?  If I was going to be honest and think truth, the answers were, No, I’m not content and Yes, I focus on material things.  Here’s why.  The root of a lot of my anxiety and fears, my “superwoman” complex, etc., was that I compared myself, my family, our house, our stuff to other people and their stuff.  If I tried to list all the ways, it would really be endless.  I was great at comparing myself to others all by myself, but do you know what helped me do that even more??  Facebook.  Now, I am not a Facebook hater.  I love that I can keep track of friends from so far away. BUT… I would look at FB and see how many pieces of furniture had been restored, how many rooms had been redecorated, how many loaves of bread had been baked, how many perfectly happy kids were dressed in perfectly matched clothes posing on perfectly manicured lawns….  You get the idea.  I thought I needed to do all of that.  I could not continue that kind of thinking and be happy and content.  I repented of that, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t still struggle.

Here are some truths that I speak to myself:

No one is perfect or has a perfect life.  I mean, let’s get real.  Most people don’t post their dirty laundry (figuratively or literally) on FB.  (I know there are exceptions. J ) 

My life has been designed by God just for me.  I remind myself that I am the only one who is the wife of my husband, mom of my kids, secretary of my church, etc., etc., etc.  No one else has my life, so why should I be trying to live someone else’s?  God’s plan for me is unique.  I need to live it with joy.  Life is never going to be perfect or easy.  As a matter of fact, there are lots of things that are downright hard and discouraging, but God doesn’t leave us to deal with it alone.  I can do ALL things through HIS strength!

I am not in control; God is.  I am the first-born in my family.  I’ve always felt like I needed to swoop in and save the day.  I am….well, I am a control freak.  Let’s face it 99.9% of the things that we get mad at, sad about, hurt by, and afraid of are out of our control.  The sooner we learn this, the better off we are. 

What is under my control?  My responses.  Responding incorrectly just compounds the problem.  I should seek to show Christ no matter what the situation.

 

Where is your focus?  If you are not looking to Jesus, then you are focusing on the wrong things.  I have not arrived.  This is a daily struggle.  Even as I share these things, I am put to the test over and over again.

Let’s get our focus on Jesus.  Consider Him…lest you be weary and faint in your mind.

Looking to Jesus...even when it's too dark to see

So many people have a “life verse”.  What exactly is a life verse?  For some, I think it’s a verse of scripture that is especially meaningful to them.  For others, it may be a verse that is like a personal mission statement.  I’ll be honest.  I’ve never selected just one life verse.  However, there is a passage of scripture that has been absolutely life changing for me over the last year or so—Hebrews 12.  I love the truths of these verses because it was like they were written just for me.  Come to think of it—they were!  They were written for you, too.  Hebrews 12: 1- 3 says:

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, 

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. 

For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. 

There is so much here….today, I’ll highlight a few things. 

Lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us.  For years, I would read this verse and have a hard time coming up with weights and sins that I needed to set aside.  WHAT?  Yes, because some of my weights and sins included wrong thinking, selfishness, and pride.  I was too blinded by those things to even admit that I had a problem.  The recognition and confession of my wrong thinking literally opened the door to an amazingly sweet time of spiritual growth.  We all know that runners cannot run successfully if they are carrying around extra weight.  No wonder, I was not running well.  I was completely weighed down.

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith – I needed to literally look to Jesus.  He is the author of my life – He designed the course of my race.  When we have questions about a product, book, game, etc., we may ask others around us, but who is the ultimate authority?  The inventor, author, or creator, right?  Well, since we can’t possibly have access to all the inventors, authors, and creators for every product, book, or game, we refer to the instructions that come with those respective items.  So, in my life, if Jesus (God) is the author of my life, the designer of my race, why wouldn’t I look to Him?  After all, He is the ultimate authority.  The great thing is that not only do I have the Bible to instruct me, but I also have direct access to Him.  Isn’t that amazing??  We have direct access to God, the creator of the universe, through His Son, Jesus Christ.  I don’t think we really fathom that like we should.

Consider Him….lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.  This verse was especially meaningful because that was me – weary and faint in my mind.  The verses that follow talk about how much Jesus endured on my behalf.  He was mocked, ridiculed, and crucified for me.  There is NOTHING that I will ever endure that can even compare.  When I start to dwell on my circumstances or situations or people that I can’t control, I have to stop and consider Him. 

I have spent many hours meditating on the truths of these verses.  Every single day, I see these truths at work in my own life.  It is exciting when you actually experience God at work in your life.  I have much more to share about this passage, but I will do it in small bits.  To try to take it all in at once is like trying to drink from a fire hydrant.

Are you weary and faint in your mind?  Start looking to Jesus, even when it’s too dark to see.

I know it, but how do I do it?

I’ve been thinking about just how many sermons I’ve heard during my lifetime.  Considering that I’ve been in church since birth, attended Christian schools from kindergarten – college, and went to a Christian camp every summer from age 8 – 18, that number is well over 6,000.  Wow.  I’ve never really calculated that until now.  The reality is that I’ve memorized hundreds of verses and heard sermons preached on the same passages over and over again.  I’ve known all the right answers for as long as I can remember.  What good is all of that head knowledge if I’m not applying it?

When I found myself in the “depths of despair”, I would read/meditate on so many verses that seemingly applied to my situation, yet…..nothing.  I struggled with practically applying the truths I knew in my head to my everyday life.  I was miserable.

There were several breakthrough moments--passages that were so familiar, yet they jumped off the page at me.  The first was Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”  

Let’s be honest.  Most of us have heard this verse preached in the context of listing all the things that we should/should not watch, listen to, visit, associate with, etc.  I agree.  There are plenty of things in life that are not true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, or worthy of praise.  However, this is what jumped off the page at me:  Whatever is true…..think about these things.

Is it true?  There are a couple of huge things that happened for me here.  I realized first of all, that the source of my despair and misery was not external.  It was my wrong thinking.  I was not thinking truth.  Wow.  More than 6,000 sermons in my life, and I was having trouble with truth?  No, it’s not that I was believing lies or questioning the truth of the Bible.  Practically, in everyday life, I was not thinking truth.  I would be all stressed out over lists of things that I thought I needed to do – everyday housework, remodeling rooms, couponing, meal planning, complete clean-out and reorganization of my house, read several books, do in-depth Bible studies…I could go on and on.  Sure, those things don’t sound too outrageous….if you took them one or two at a time.  The problem was that I would decide that I would need to do several or most of those things in one night or weekend.  Yes, I was crazy!  So here’s what I would do.  I would have conversations with myself (sometimes out loud):

Do you have to do all of the 12 humongous projects on your list today?  No

What is necessary for your family to survive? Cooking, some laundry, having a sane wife and mom

Several books?  Really?  Ok…one at a time, not necessarily every day

In-depth Bible study? Personal time with God – Yes.  Hours of study?  No 

(I have more to say about this.  I’ll save it for another post.)

 

Then there are all the “what ifs” of life.  What if…..I get sick, lose a job, mess up, let others down, lose a loved one?  Ok.  Am I thinking about some thing or circumstance that hasn’t happened?  Then I am not thinking truth.  God’s grace IS sufficient for what IS happening.  “He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater.”  NOT “He giveth more grace the more I think about all the bad things that might happen some day.”

 
Amazingly….I started to change.  Why?  My thinking was changing.  
 

Remember, it’s a gradual process.  Start thinking truth.  It will change your life!

Why write this blog?

I found myself anxious and defensive.  I was reacting to situations and making decisions based upon what I thought others were thinking about me or expecting of me.  It affected all areas of my life:

Physically:  I did not feel well.  I was tired and had no motivation or energy.  I did not eat regularly.  I did not get enough sleep.     

Mentally:  I was overwhelmed by life.  I constantly felt anxious, scared, and out of control.  I was moody – my family never knew which “me” they would be dealing with.  I was defensive and unapproachable.

Spiritually:  I felt so far away from God.  I would have devotions, but I felt totally haphazard….no direction.  I would try to pray, but usually had no words to describe what I wanted to say.  I just begged God to make me better.

There is not an exact point in time where I can say that this began.  It was a very gradual shift in my thinking that resulted in something that was very definitely wrong.  I found my self remembering how I used to be, and wondering why things were so different now.  I knew that floundering around in misery was not how I was supposed to be living.  It really didn’t matter what used to be.  I needed to be right—right now.

So, what to do? 

All throughout those long months, I continued to read my Bible, pray, and do all the things that I knew were right.  I was begging God for relief—my focus was all wrong.

When I would reach the end of my rope—which was often—my dear family would hear it.  My husband, sisters, and mother would listen as I would talk, cry, and try to explain how I felt.  I don’t think I did a very good job of communicating what I was experiencing.  I really thought that I was going crazy, and they probably did too!

I would have these long lists of things that I thought I needed to do based on what I thought was expected of me.  Some of the things on my list were absolutely right—housework, laundry, etc.  Other things on my list were totally wrong—look like a perfect family, be super woman, be all the things that others want me to be.   When I would try to explain how overwhelmed I was feeling, my family would repeat the same advice over and over again in as many different ways as they knew how:

• You can’t do everything.
• You don’t know what others are thinking.

Wow!  That may seem very obvious, but for me, it took a while to really grasp personally.  I had been overwhelmed for as long as I could remember (seriously).  I have always loved doing lots of things and doing them well.  All throughout my childhood and teen years, I excelled in school, sports, church activities, etc.  Think about it.  I had nothing else to occupy my time.  I loved to help out with any and everything that I could do for the teachers at our school.  (My mom worked at our school, so we practically lived there.)  I loved my family, school, and church.  I can honestly say, that I never felt “imprisoned” by anything about the way I grew up.  I thrived on all of the attention and affirmation that comes from doing things for others.  I truly do love to do things for others to show them that I care, BUT somewhere in there is a line, and I had crossed it.  I had become so consumed with being superwoman, that I was falling apart.  I could not meet the expectations anymore.  Who was expecting so much from me?  Me.  No one else.

So how to change my thinking? 

Since the road to this place was gradual, my journey back to “sanity” was also gradual.  God used many people, sermons, personal study, etc. to direct me to scripture that “discerned the thoughts and intents of my heart”.  I want to emphasize that it was ultimately the truths of God’s Word that brought healing.  We so often get hung up on certain people, books, songs, etc.  All of those “extras” are great tools, but they are not the ultimate answer.  We can be encouraged by the lives of others, books, songs, but all of those things ought to point us back to Christ.

I have been so excited about the way God has been working in my own heart that I wanted to share it with others.  I trust that the lessons that I share here will be an encouragement to you.